and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
