we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
