so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My balls are so social today.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
