Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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