in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
