i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
