Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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