I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
