Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
