i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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