i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
