she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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