I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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