woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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