Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
