you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
