May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
