Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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