shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Let's get the cat blown out
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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