what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Randomize