dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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