just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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