Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
