my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
