you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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