Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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