i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Bring me that man meat
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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