If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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