ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
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No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
wow bdsm is so cute
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