i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
