I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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