Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
