The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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