After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
