But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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