Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
