Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
