Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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