somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
