I'm lost and stupid without you.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize