puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
