I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
What a fucking waste of an outfit
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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