If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
