She announced her abortion via fbk
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
