if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
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Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
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he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.