I am spending my child support on dildos
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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