I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.