Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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