the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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