we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
