white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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