whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
