Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
