So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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