He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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