I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
