I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize