U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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