i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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