giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Pooping to opera.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
